Gratitude for Caregivers — and Words of Wisdom from Someone Who’s Been There

November is National Caregivers Month. Dr. Pinkerton would like to acknowledge the important role of caregivers who look after the sick, elderly and disabled. Insight Eyecare administrator and guest blogger Sharon McAfee has been there more than once, caring for her father and mother-in-law. Both had dementia. Here are her tips for caregivers.

By Sharon McAfee

Be patient.

Your loved one will get frustrated for not remembering things or not being able to do the things they have always enjoyed and associate with independence, such as driving and cooking.

People with Alzheimer’s disease become increasingly childlike, forgetting how to dress or bathe themselves or even how to use the right utensils when eating. It is difficult to watch but it cannot be helped. Just be patient and, in the case of a parent, remember that they once took care of you in the same manner.

Give yourself a break.

It is very important that you take care yourself, too. Caregiving takes a lot out of you, both physically and mentally. When friends and family offer to sit with your loved one, take them up on it. A home healthcare or eldercare service is a helpful option. If may also be helpful to join a support group for caregivers. There are online support groups available as well.

Don’t argue.

If you are caring for someone with dementia or Alzheimer’s, it does not help to argue or disagree with them, or try to jog their memory or force them to face reality. It is best to go along with them rather than contradict them.

My mother-in- law used to insist that she needed to pay the little kids down the street for helping her. Instead of trying to argue or reason with her, I simply told her I already took care of it. My dad always insisted he needed to go talk to the mayor, so I drove him around the block, took him back home and he was happy, having forgotten about his critical mission once we were underway.

Don’t put off the inevitable.

Get any legal paperwork signed as soon as possible while your loved one is able to understand, make appropriate decisions and express their wishes concerning their medical care, finances and estate.